Anguish aka Bathroom Breakdowns & Unlikely Wisdom
by HairSpunofGold
Summary: While contemplating her sorrow and anguish over her recent heartbreak, Courtney gets comfort and some wisdom from an unlikely friend. During TDWT, after Greece's Pieces.


**A small narrative on the hurt we never really got to see expressed by Courtney after the events of Greece's Pieces and comfort from a very unlikely person. Enjoy :)**

* * *

I look into the mirror, anguished; I wipe away the tears that can't seem to do anything but stream down my cheek. I should have known… I was an idiot for thinking that Duncan, _of all people_, could be faithful, could a good boyfriend… I should have known.

Why is this happening?

I stare at my reflection, this only makes the tears fall faster and heavier, I curl up into a ball on the ground, slightly rocking back and forth trying, fruitlessly, to keep the sobs quiet and under control. I still had to appear my heartless unemotional everyday self, although… it really hadn't worked for the last week or so. I need to show him, that I really don't care, that I'm more upset about something silly like, well I don't know, like looking foolish or something.

He can't know my heart is broken into little shards, he can't know he was that important to me…

I've been a wreck emotionally for the last 9 days, ever since, well, I found out. I should have seen it. I was so happy to have him back, I didn't even catch on that he and that… that, I breathe in deeply, that _person_, were kissing behind my back. I'm not going to sink so low as to recognize that she has a name, nor will I become emotionally attached as to call her the appropriate title, of what someone that does what she did should be called.

I'm above her, them both actually.

I don't know why I'm surprised. He does this repeatedly, after the first special, before I was kicked off on Total Drama Action, after TDA. He claims he likes me, all of me, and then he screws up our relationship… again

Another wave of sobs comes over me, my body shaking. I rub angrily at my eyes, and only curl up tighter.

Yes, I have considered that I might be the cause, but when I'm a nice and supportive girlfriend, he cheats on me, when I'm more competitive and 'fun' in his terms, I still get dumped. I'm sick of it, and him, and yet… my heart still aches, or… what's left of it.

I hear a knock at the door, "Hey, is anyone in there?" It's a voice, low, I think it's male. I go to the back corner of the bathroom, and ball up again; maybe it will just go away.

"Hey, is anyone here?"

I clear my throat, and with the strongest voice I can muster, "Go away," the end tappers off and an accidental sob is released, "Please, just leave me," I beg the person outside that door. I can't deal with anyone now; I can't be seen, not like this.

I hear fidgeting with the lock and it clicks open. I squeeze my eyes closed, and try to not be seen, it doesn't work. I guess trying to hide in thin air doesn't work so well.

"Hey… are you ok?" Again, the male voice asks, I don't want to see who it is and the blood throbbing in my head helps mask the speaker's voice.

I glance up, through the rush of tears, I see red and brown, Tyler, I think. I wipe my eyes, yea, Tyler. Why he would care if I was upset, I don't know, "Yea, sure, I'm fine, I just accidently got something in my eye… or something," I said, trying to sound confident, but it only sounds pathetic.

He slides down and sits next to me, "Wanna, I dunno, talk or something."

"No," I cover my head as another wave of sorrow hits me; I know how I must look, pitiful, sad, pathetic. Weak. He had to go, he didn't like me, and Duncan's on his team. His allegiance would certainly toward his teammate; he'd tell him all about his pitiful ex who was balling her eyes out. That's when I felt a rubbing on my shoulder.

"Uh, it's ok," he tried to comfort me awkwardly, "Um, it'll get better,"

After 20 minutes of more crying, I think I run out of tears. Tyler has retrieved a box of tissues, and is silently passing me tissues, while still doing the best he can to comfort me.

I sniffle and blow my nose. I wipe the tears from my face and give a weak smile, "Thanks Tyler, I don't know why you're being so nice, it's not like we're friends, and we're not teammates, you don't have anything to gain from being nice, but I appreciate it,"

He shrugs, "Hey, anyone else would do the same,"

"No, they wouldn't," I persist, I have to know where this kindness is coming from, "Most would find a different bathroom, or go tell someone, or point and laugh. Why did you? You don't even like me, and I've never been nice to you,"

"I dunno, just couldn't be mean to someone in that much pain. So… why were you crying?"

"I bet you can guess,"

He nods, "Ah, Duncan, that sucks, I'm sorry, you know, 'bout him,"

"So am I. What was I thinking? I mean, who actually goes after the bad boy? Everyone knows that's a long road that only leads to heartbreak, why didn't I see it?"

"He was persistent, I think that's why, we all saw him consistently going after you, and at first you really didn't want to be with him. You fended him off, but you got sucked in." Tyler pats her arm.

"Yea, and once you give in, he finds someone else,"

He lets out a small laugh, "Some guys can be dicks like that, and once a girl gives into the chase he resets his sight. I'm sorry you had to go through that,"

"You're surprisingly insightful about all this," She leans her head on his shoulder, "And here I thought you were just a dumb jock going after a girl like, well you know, like Lindsey,"

He chuckles, "And here I was thinking you were a cold hearted control freak who fell for her polar opposite. I'm not sure most of the cast actually knew this hit home for you."

"Yea," I say softly, I blow into the tissue again.

"Well, on the positive side, the hardships we face make us who we'll turn out to be. As long as we don't become discouraged by one relationship or bad experience, we learn from it and that betters us for the long run,"

I smile, thinking over the concept, and nod, "Thank you Tyler, this really means a lot to me, I'm sorry for everything,"

"Hey, it's ok,"

"I hope we can be friends after the show is done, I would be nice now, but it's in my contract that I have to be and I quote, 'Mean, deceptive and cunning,' basically overall bitchy, so I apologize for everything."

"I understand, hope when this is all done we can get to know each other better,"

"I'd like that… Lindsey's a lucky girl,"

"Duncan's an idiot," I smile and give him a quick hug and stand up, fixing my clothes; I look back into the mirror. The only remnants of my breakdown are my slightly puffy eyes which I splash with water.

Perhaps, I think to myself, I will get over this, maybe… in time, I will be whole again. With one more glance at the mirror, I see the remnants of the early anguish, it's there, but it's dulled.

I can get over this, I decide, and with a quick smile and a wave to my new friend, I walk out of the bathroom. A new woman, a woman who wasn't whole, but soon would be.

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**Why Tyler you ask, well first I wanted it to be when she was still on the show so it had to be a contestant or Chef/Chris. Obviously Chris is too appathetic to be nice, she wouldn't listen to Duncan or Gwen for obvious reasons. Sierra and Owen are just a bit to happy to convey the emotional depth I was going for, as well, Heather and Alejandro were too manipulative. I considered Cody and Chef but Cody is in love with Gwen, so that couldn't work, and Chef I did consider but decided to go with Tyler, because I felf like bring more dimensions to his character. **

**This could stand alone but I might consider writing more if anyone wanted to read more. Anyways, thanks for reading, and please Review.**

**Merry Christmas, Kat.**


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